Be a 'YES' Girl
You need more “YES” in your life
Saying “YES” to things you don’t agree with isn’t backing down, it’s shifting to focus on things you can control
We only have so many hours in one work day to accomplish our tasks and push initiatives forward. Contrary to what it sounds like, the concept of saying “yes” saves so much time that can then be redirected towards things that actually deserve our energy. Being a worker bee in a large organization means running new ideas and workflows past at least one level of management and hearing a lot of hard “no’s.” Being a RED, I am not afraid of confrontation, especially when I’m passionate about my ideas. I interpret any shut-down as an opportunity to re-word, re-vamp, re-work and then re-approach my manager until I get the results I desire. This may sound like the success story of someone who is driven and determined, but when it becomes an all day, every day battle, it uses up most of my daily fuel.
When I shifted industries and started contract work for a smaller startup, I was the new kid on the block introducing new ideas and workflows to a well-established team. I had completely different technical skills and a controversial mindset when it came to work-life balance, it seemed like rejection was on constant repeat.
“No, you should not take a lunch break.”
“No, you can’t go to that conference with the rest of the team.”
“No, we don’t see value in that analysis.”
I understood the need to prove myself at a new job, but the uphill grind was wearing. The size and scope of the topic or concept didn’t matter to me, I fought each one like it was its own uphill fire that I needed to put out. I became tired, exhausted and constantly teetered on the edge of burnout. This slow and constant deterioration of my physical and mental health led me to seek the help of a therapist and begin my self-discovery journey. One afternoon I was sitting in my therapist’s office when she introduced me to the concept of being a ‘YES girl’. This meant that after a rejection I would present my well-crafted counter-argument, and if the response was still a no-go, then I’d respond to my boss with a “yes, okay.” I would accept it as the final answer, then drop it and move on. If you are not in the position where you have the authority to make those decisions you are inquiring about, then it’s probably not your company and it is completely out of your control - don’t spend another minute of energy on it. I started spending my time on things I could control; quality work, building connections with coworkers and brainstorming new ideas.
The RED in me always struggles to back down from a fight and this became one of my main obstacles in becoming a stronger ‘YES girl.’ I thrive on push-back and a hard up-hill climb has never scared me from going after the things I want. However, when it came at the expense of my health, relationships and happiness, I knew I needed to force a change. A shift in mindset accompanied this new way of working where it was no longer seen as an act of giving up, it was choosing to go down a different path. Despite the challenges, the instant relief of accepting “no” and letting it go worked wonders while creating more time and space to pursue other avenues and ideas. Of course, there are times when I need stand my ground, climb into the boxing ring and be truly RED - but those but every day fires and battles do not need to be a reality. Free up your energy and don’t be afraid to be a ‘YES girl!’
