Slotting in Self Time
Scheduling self-time is investing time in yourself
The foundational pillar to your success is you – take care of yourself so you can do all the great things
I take a lot of pride in getting sh!t done and nothing feels better than putting giant RED checkmark next to an accomplished task. I love constantly moving, doing and achieving in both my professional and personal life - but how much is ‘too much’? Juggling my professional industry career, growing my side hustles, maintaining relationships and social life became exceedingly tough. I will be the first to admit the first thing that falls off my priority list is self-care. I always find something more ‘productive’ I can do with my time to feel a sense of satisfaction at the end of the day. I have always measured my success by tangible accomplishments – job titles, number of reports finished, number of new clients, how many friends I see in a week etc. Self-care success metrics are not as easily measured.
Regardless of my ongoing self-awareness work, my proximity to the ‘edge’ somehow slipped past me. It was when one of my leadership mentors called me one day and asked me a simple question, “How are you really doing?” My defences went up as I verbally spewed all the facts, metrics and accomplishments that would indicate I was doing much better than okay. The next minute, I dissolved into tears in the middle of a transparent, glass-walled office in the center of my workplace. The self-assured, confident, RED human that I am was deeply horrified and shocked. I spent so much of my time checking off boxes that I never made the time to completely stop and check-in with myself to ask - am I am really doing okay?
It seems so uncomplicated to make time for yourself. I always hear from co-workers and friends that their week night evenings are filled with chilling out on the couch with a glass of wine and a solid Netflix series or good book. It all sounds like a common and easy reality. It’s like when I hear a good country song and I think I also want the wind blowing through my hair while sitting in an old pick-up truck driving down a dusty backroad – but the reality is that I am allergic to every animal and plant that exists in the country, and I don’t love being coated in dust with tangled hair. The idea of an evening to unwind sounds marvellous, but the reality is that every fibre of my being wants to keep going into overdrive until I am physically unable. It started to feel like life was never-ending sprint intervals with no rest in between. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy the activities that occupied my time, I just needed to create some breathing room to recharge my batteries.
I continued to struggle with executing on self-time until my therapist suggested that I schedule blocks of time ‘off’ in my calendar. I decided on some ground rules that outlined the number of evenings/hours I wanted to designate as ‘off’. I was allowed to move around the time blocks to different days within the week, but not allowed to delete them. It seemed dramatic and structured, but being so calendar-centric, my execution success rate sky-rocketed. I shifted the calendar entry title from ‘time off’ or ‘do nothing time’ which had negative standstill undertones, to ‘self-time’ which suggested growth. The toughest part was accepting that time to rest would actually help me achieve more in the long term. The foundational pillar of success starts with the taking care of the individual.
Through this time of growth, I started to separate work and home life and made a few basic décor changes to my home to create a space that made me feel safe while subtly reminding me that it is okay to unwind. With the onset of warmer weather, I migrated to the outdoors with a good book and added simple string lights overhead to establish an atmosphere of relaxation.
Self-time can be filled with anything I need it to be - from listening to a podcast, doing a yoga class, watching a movie, meditating or cooking a meal. It requires that I honestly listen to and do what my body needs to recharge and relax. It also means learning to say “no” to plans when others invite me out and getting over my severe FOMO. Although self-care continues to be a challenge, it helped me achieve the downtime I desperately need while creating space for activities that would have been swept aside in the never-ending quest for success. A return investment…for myself!
